Harry Potter and the Fellowship of the Ring
by Merri-WoodPip-Son
Summary: *CH 10 UP!* Have you ever considered the similarities between Mirkwood and the Forbidden Forest? When a certain prince of Mirkwood wanders into the Forbidden Forest, events start to roll along in a way that ends very unexpectedly...Harry PotterxLOTR. R&R!
1. Scene 24

Pip Son: Hello all and sundry (that is the people who come in, and then go out the back way and come in again.) 

Merri Wood: yes, all the GREEDY people... hobbits... elves... what ever damn species you greedy folk are and you KNOW who you are! 

PS: Right. And since we've started like this, we intend to go on like this and write a LOTR fic! 

*canned wild cheering* 

PS: Thank you, thank you! NOW! On with it! 

MW: As much as we would like to, WE OWN NOTHING AND NOBOYD I mean BODY oh bother, now you know.... Now you'll all think I'm strange, ah well, it was going to happen eventually... 

PS: Hey! We're all strange here! It's called being unique! 

**HARRY POTTER AND THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING**

THE START OF THE STORY( with no-boyd *lol*) 

( I would like to say that Pip and I are taking it in turns to write so I'll be writing about Legolas and Merry and Pippin won't say anything till Pip gets here which sort of makes sense because if Pip isn't here then Pippin can't... !GET ON WITH IT!.. right and now for scene 24 which I think is a spiffing bit of filming in which you can't hear any swallows but I think you can here a starling...) 

Sorry..... 

Chapter One : SCENE 24.

Legolas threw back his head and smiled at the sound of the birds in his home forest of Mirkwood. He let his clear elven voice rise up above the trees and into the wind above them (read The Hobbit to learn more about the dense stillness of Mirkwood.) He swung his bow at his side as he strolled through the forest on that clear morning. But something wasn't right, not quite perfect. He frowned to himself until curiosity over took him and he began to search. 

The banging and crashing that his acute hearing had picked up earlier was drawing nearer and nearer as he moved like a shadow through the undergrowth. (A/N I love elves!) 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

The enchanted car was stuck. Mr Weasley's magic may have got Harry and Ron to Hogwarts that other year but now it was loose in the Forbidden Forest. Why was it forbidden? Because it was given to the Elves and made into Mirkwood and the founders of Hogwarts had promised Legolas' father, Thranduil, that they wouldn't allow the students in to disturb them. So, completely (A/N Pip's back) oblivious to the unfolding of the events in The Hobbit and all the other things unique to LOTR, the school year was unfolding and none of the students knew; in FACT, I don't believe that even Hagrid knew of the elves except what his cousin Beorn had told him. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Well, Legolas found the enchanted car and was quite taken aback (not having seen one before) and was very curious to what it was. After trying to get it to calm down and talk to it, he gave up and decided that it must have come from the part of the forest that not even the elves were allowed to go into. So, like a good little elven Prince, he broke that rule and wondered into the forbidden forest to find what ever was there, lying in secret beyond. 

As he walked through The Forbidden Forest, a new sound came up and it lead him on until he came across a unicorn which was watching him from a distance. He smiled. As you know, an elf would never hurt another living creature (except enemies) and so it was with this elf. He followed the unicorn, bow in hand, and almost enchanted walked behind it. He saw the centaur before it saw him but wasn't afraid. He was really beginning to like this new part of the forest, unicorns, centaurs strange metal monsters, what next! Just then he noticed that the centaur had run off. He also saw sunlight through the trees. 

Creeping through the trees he saw a red headed girl in a black robe running as fast as she could across the open grass on the other side of the forest. Maybe she knew what the metal thing in the forest was. He ran out and caught her, covering her mouth. 

"Hush and I won't have to hurt you." It was an empty threat but it worked. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Firenze galloped towards the cabin of the groundsman, Hagrid. He had to warn him that someone was after the unicorns again! Hopefully the results would be not as bad than last time a unicorn was hunted in the Forbidden Forest. Very cautiously he crept out of the shelter of the trees and trotted to Hagrid's back door. He knocked sharply. From inside he could hear Fang the boarhound barking loudly and Hagrid's voice telling him to "Stow it, Fang!" The door was pulled open and hagrid's big hairy head came into view. Under his arm, Firenze could see three curious faces looking out, one of which was the Potter boy. 

"Yes?" asked Hagrid. Firenze looked back to him. 

"There's someone in the forest. He's got a bow and he's following a unicorn. Can you come and find him before it's too late?" 

"Someone's huntin' unicorns?" Hagrid looked furious. "Not again! Righ'! Come on you three, we've got a unicorn hunter to catch!" He grabbed his umbrella, a large crossbow and a quiver of arrows and came outside, beckoning to the three kids. Hermione shook her head. 

"Lunch is nearly over, we should go back to the castle. We don't want to be late for Transfiguration," she said. Harry and Ron looked at each other. 

"You stay here then. We're going!" The two boys leapt up and ran over to Hagrid, who went outside. 

"You stay 'ere, Hermione. I need someone to come wi' me as a witness. Alrigh' boys, let's go!" Hagrid set off with the boys and Firenze following. Hermione stood nervously on the edge of the forest and fidgeted from foot to foot. Finally she turned her back on it and looked across the grounds. She saw a small figure with red hair dashing across the grass, and recognised her as Ginny Weasley, Ron's younger sister. She was going to call out when she saw a tall graceful figure come out of the forest and pick her up. Hermione gaped. She took a step forward to go to her aid when something jumped on her from behind and fastened strong gripping fingers around her neck. She heard a hissing voice in her ear. 

"What'ssss thisss, my preciousss? Isss it good? Isss it tasssty?" Hermione struggled and gasped for breath. Red spots started dancing in front of her eyes. She was on the verge of passing out when she heard an angry voice shout, and the thing on her back was pulled off. She fell to her hands and knees and gasped for breath. Her vision was slowly clearing up and she could hear voices talking. 

"Don't you do that again! Or it'll be the worse for you!" This voice was angry and rough. 

"Smeagol, you should not do that. Next time you do that- well you just better not do it again." This voice was soft and sounded more refined than the other. She could hear the thing that had grabbed her grovelling and whimpering. 

"Sorry Master, Smeagol is sorry. Nice master, nice massster!" Then Hermione felt small but firm hands on her shoulder. 

"Are you all right, miss?" The face she looked up into was honest and concerned. She recognised his voice as the first speaker. "Sorry about him, he's not really that bad," he said, scowling at the pathetic creature. 

"Yes, I'm alright," she managed to gasp out. She stood up, expecting the man to be, well, a man. She was immensely surprised to find she was looking down at the little man. "Who are you?" 

"Me? I'm Samwise Gamgee, at your service," he said with a little bow, "and this is Mr. Frodo Baggins, my master. And that -thing- is Smeagol, or Gollum, as he's widely known as. We're hobbits. Not Gollum, though." 

"I'm so sorry," said the other little guy. "I humbly beg forgiveness on Smeagol's behalf." Hermione was astounded. These people -hobbits-, she suddenly realised, were not human, on account of the large hairy feet and softly pointed ears. Neither hobbit wore shoes and both looked friendly and kind, even if the one called Frodo looked very weary and tired. Hermione suddenly remembered about Ginny and turned around, to find the "hunter" standing quietly in front of her, smiling softly at the two hobbits. Gollum cowered and hid from him behind Frodo, then dashed off into the forest. 

"So, Sam, Frodo, we meet again already!" 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

A/N: Pip: So you liked that did ya? Don't worry, for all you Merry/Pippin/Aragorn/Gimli fans, they will be there, in the next chappy. So ENJOY and have fun reading more! There should be more about once a week, but no promises. There'll be another chapter by the end of this week anyway. 

Merri: Please review as this is the first one and we want to know whether to keep going or just drop it and you can write the rest your selves.... Mmmmm... interesting..... Merry and Pippin are next so I'm going to get them ready... Bye! Enjoy! visit billyboyd.net! 

Pip: Ooookaaaaay. Well, we'll get on with this then. 


	2. A Chance Meeting

Hi! Here's chapter two! So fast! Wow! Just a little note, the Forbidden Forest is like an entrance to the world of LOTR, the whole of Middle-earth is un-plottable (it's in one of the books if ya dunno what it means, the 4th one I think) and Mirkwood is HUGE so the Forbidden Forest is, well, forbidden, so that's why no one knows about it. But think about it! Aragog/ the giant spiders that tried to eat the dwarves in The Hobbit! They're both dark and scary, no one knows what's in the Forbidden Forest/ Mirkwood anyway! So that's my reasoning. 

Disclaimer: WE DON'T OWN ANY OF IT. there ya go. *heh heh heh noboyd hehehehe* 

**HARRY POTTER AND THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING**

Chapter Two : A CHANCE ENCOUNTER 

Hagrid, Harry and Ron headed off after Firenze into the Forbidden Forest. Hagrid was annoyed and concerned about the unicorn, Harry was wondering if they'd have to come back for the detention they'd get for being late to class. Ron was wanting to know if they'd come out alive and if the hunter was dangerous. Firenze turned to them politly and bowed. 

" I'm sorry but I must leave you now, good luck." Secretly he knew that DBZ was on and was going to go watch it...(A/N we put this in for Raen ^_^). Firenze disappeared into the forest leaving them very much alone. 

"*cough* umm, Hagrid?" Ron's voice broke the uneasy silence. 

" Shhh." Hagrid held up a hand and they saw a shape, too solid to be a shadow, run past them and disappear the way they'd come. Hagrid ran on at an incredable speed thinking that it had already got to the unicorn. Harry and Ron stood there looking around them. 

" Let's go back Ron. Let's go back right now." Harry patted Ron's shoulder nervously and started edging back the way they'd come. They stopped and stared around, wondering how to get back. They heard a twig snap behind them and whipped around, wands raised, then opened their mouths and yelled. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Merry waited until Aragorn and Gimli had gone far enough ahead of him, then turned and motioned to Pippin. 

Putting his mouth close to Pippin's ear, he whispered, "This looks like the perfect sort of forest to find mushrooms in!" Pippin nodded in agreement, licking his lips hungrily. Slowly, the two crept off into the trees, searching in all the best mushrooming places. Far off they could hear Legolas' singing and headed in his direction, in case Aragorn spotted them (so they had a good excuse). Suddenly the singing came to an abrupt end and the two young hobbits discovered how very lost they had got themselves. 

"Uh oh," whispered Pippin, but Merry just smiled and dived down to the foot of a tree. 

"Mushrooms!" he hissed to Pippin happily. But Pippin was looking up at two dark figures coming slowly towards them. Neither figure had spotted them yet because of their grey elven cloaks. Pippin stepped backwards and tapped Merry on the shoulder, but as Merry stood up he stood on a twig making it crack under his bare foot. The two figures spun around to face them, pulling what looked like sharp pointy sticks out of their voluminous cloaks and pointing them at the hobbits. The shadow of the trees was too great, so the hobbits couldn't see their opponents very well, but they pulled their swords out anyway. Suddenly a thought struck Pippin. 

"NAZGUL!" He and Merry looked at each other and then back at the two dark figures, opened their mouths and yelled. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Aragorn looked around. He could hear yelling, very very loudly, and not too far away. Looking back at Gimli, he saw the absense of the two hobbits. Gimli looked grim. Without a word they ran towards the noise. What they came upon, they didn't stop to think about. Seeing the two dark figures, they jumped forward and banged them on the heads. The two figures dropped to the ground like stones. To Aragorns's surprise, when they did stop, they saw the two were just children! The two hobbits stopped yelling and stared. Merry's mouth opened and shut a few times at Aragorn's stern face. 

"They had pointy sticks!" 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Harry blearily opened one eye, and saw Madame Pomfrey's face looking down at him. He groaned and opened both eyes. His head hurt horribly. Madame Pomfrey gave him some chocolate and then bustled over to where Ron lay on the bed next to him. Harry hastlily stowed the chocolate in his mouth before sitting up. Hagrid sat on a chair next to his bed, keeping his large bulk to himself as much as he could. 

"Wmmm hmmnmm?" asked Harry. 

"Wha'?" asked Hagrid. Harry swallowed his chocolate. 

"I said, what happened?" Hagrid looked concerned. 

"Well, I was after the hunter, you un'erstand, an' I heard yer yellin'. So I hurried back as fast as I could go! And when I got there, the two of yer was jus' lyin' on the ground! Yer've suffered a bit o' a bump to yer head. What happened ter you?" Hagrid asked. Harry frowned, concentrating. That hurt his head so he spoke. 

"Me and Ron were going to go back to the castle, but we weren't sure which way to go. We went for a little distance when we heard a twig crack behind us. We turned around and," Harry looked up at Hagrid, "there were two small figures, like gnomes only bigger and prettier. They were hardly visible against the shadow, but they whipped out swords. One of them yelled something I didn't understand, and they both started yelling. We yelled too, in fright, but they were yelling for backup, because the next thing I knew, I was hit on the head and I fell down. And that's all." 

"Really," said a soft voice next to Harry's bed. Harry looked around. Dumbledore stood there, his eyes a little concerned. "What did they yell?" Harry concentrated, but he couldn't remember. 

"_Nazgul_. They said _Nazgul_," Ron piped up. Dumbledore looked a bit afraid for a second, and then recovered and let out a little laugh. 

The door of the hospital wing swung open and Professor McGonagall strode in. 

"Sorry to disturb you, Professor, but I was told you'd be here. Two Griffindors are missing," she said shortly. 

"Who?" asked Dumbledore. 

"Hermione Granger and Ginny Weasley, Professor," she said. Harry and Ron sat up with an exclamation. Hagrid looked upset. 

"It's all my fault, I should never have left 'er there," he wailed, fat tears dripping down his face. "I left 'er by my cabin and I left them two alone in the Forest! Oh dear oh dear!" he cried. 

"But that doesn't explain Ginny!" cried Ron. We left Hermione there, but I haven't seen Ginny since breakfast!" 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Ginny grumbled to herslf as she scrabbled about and ran at the same time. Finally she managed to get her bag done up just in time to be swung off her feet and have a hand, gentle but strong, placed over her mouth. 

" Hush and I won't have to hurt you." She relaxed instantly and he let her go. She spun around to see a tall fair haired stranger standing in front of her. 

"Wha...Who....wha.." she tried weakly to list of the questions flooding into her head. 

"shh, I'm not meant to be here and by the speed you were going I suppose you're not ment to be here either." Legolas' voice was full of laughter and light. Ginny suddenly felt like she trusted him with all her heart and had done so for years. 

"I'm Ginny Weasly." she managed to say at last. 

"Legolas Greenleaf, Prince of the Elves of Mirkwood," he replied with an elven bow which Ginny returned. " Come now, just answer me a few things and ..." he was cut off short by some harsh words not far away that Ginny didn't hear. He turned his head in the direction of Hagrids cabin. Taking Ginny's arm he whisked her away. 

He stood still behind a girl talking to Sam and Frodo. He watched Gollum disappear into the forest before the human maid in front of him turned around. 

"So, Sam, Frodo, we meet again already." With a few neat steps he came to the hobbits' sides and left Ginny to talk to Hermione while he had a quiet word in elvish with Frodo and then in common tounge with Sam. 

Finally he turned to the girls and opened his mouth to say something, but heard someone coming through the forest and swept the girls and hobbits away. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

A/N: Well That's the end of Chapter 2! Ya like? Good! We'll write more then! Coming soon: Gandalf! More Merry and Pippin! Draco Malfoy and his gang! A star-studded line-up for you soon! 


	3. When Hobbits Attack!

MW: HELLO!! We are EXTREMELY pleased with the outcome of chapter three and hope that you enjoy reading it as much as Pip enjoyed writing it and I enjoyed listening to it. I guess I'm writing chapter 4 then... 

PS: *leaps forward* HELLO *checks paper* FANFICTION.NET!!!! *canned cheering* Well, here's chapter three, as promised, with everything promised! I think. 

CHAPTER THREE: WHEN HOBBITS ATTACK!

Draco Malfoy was not a happy boy. Being pulled out of going to his favourite class, Potions, to look for two snotty Gryffindors was not his idea of a good day. Even so, the thought of the trouble Granger and the Weasley brat would be in kept him going. 

Draco could hear Crabbe and Goyle muttering behind him as they sauntered across the grounds, not really looking for the missing girls. They slowly made their way around the back of Hagrid's hut and stopped. Crabbe and Goyle leaned back against the wall, but Draco paced up and down a bit. Suddenly Draco heard what was definitely a sneeze. He stopped and looked around at the surrounding area, then down at his feet. Something caught his eye; something gold, and it glinted in the sun. It seemed to be calling him, _wanting_ him to take it. His hand was drawn to it and he picked it up, wonderingly. It was a ring. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Sam, Frodo, Legolas, Ginny and Hermione crouched in the bushes. They watched as a skinny white-blonde boy and two rather butch-looking boys came around the side of the hut. Hermione groaned quietly. Legolas looked sideways at her. Hermione mouthed "jerks" to him. He raised an eyebrow and remained silent. 

Frodo crouched next to Sam. He watched the human boys stand where they themselves had been standing mere minutes before. He sat in silence, watching, but with a growing sense of unease. His hand drifted to his pocket and he slipped two fingers in to grasp at his ring. 

Ginny's nose tickled. She tried, and tried to hold it in. She held her breath, she held her nose, she clenched her teeth, until she couldn't hold it in any more. 

"AAAAACHOO!" Legolas clamped his hand over her mouth. There was stillness and silence for a few seconds as the blonde boy looked around. They watched as he bent down and picked up something from the ground. It glinted gold in it sun. Sam heard Frodo's breath stop. Then- 

Explosion. "NOOOO! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT, YOU THIEF!!!" Frodo burst out of the bushes and rammed the boy. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Draco stumbled with the impact but didn't fall. Crabbe and Goyle stood stunned for a second before jumping out and grabbing the attacker by the arms. The creature scratched and bit and fought, before freezing and glaring up at Draco, chest heaving. 

"Give it to me. It's mine," he snarled. Draco looked at him, not understanding. Then it clicked. 

"Oh! You mean this?" He held up the ring. 

"Yes." Draco raised and eyebrow. 

"Who are you to take it from me when I found it?" he asked mockingly. 

"I am Frodo Baggins of the Shire. The ring belongs to no one but I am in charge of it. It's dangerous. Return it to me," Frodo commanded. Draco smirked. 

"No, I don't think I will. Finders keepers, losers weepers." He cuffed Frodo around the head. Frodo glared. "Awww, poor baby want his ring back?" Draco bent down level with Frodo's eyes. "I'm keeping it." He moved to put it on. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Big mistake. When Sam saw Frodo burst out of the bushes, he sat still, stunned. He watched Frodo get grabbed and Draco swagger about in front of him; and the rage rose in Sam's honest, loyal heart. He saw Draco strike Frodo, and he couldn't hold himself in. Just as Draco bent forward eye to eye with Frodo, Sam jumped. Actually he ran forward and jumped, but he jumped nonetheless; and landed on the back of his master's tormentor. He latched on like a limpet, clinging to Draco's back with his legs and arms. He grabbed a handful of hair in each hand and held on with all his might. At the same time he yelled, " DON'T YOU TREAT MR. FRODO LIKE THAT!!!!!" 

All of this happened in a second. To Draco, it felt like a sack of potatoes had descended on his back and grabbed him by the hair. 

"What the-!!!!" he exclaimed. Sam started beating him about the head with his small fists, berating him all the time for abusing his master. Draco yelled like a wounded bull and started dashing about, trying to dislodge the small crusader. At first Sam continued to attack, but the he stopped and just clung on to Draco's back and hair for dear life. Crabbe and Goyle stared in shock, loosening their grip on Frodo. Frodo saw an opportunity and took it. Giving a great wrench, he pulled himself free and fell onto there grass. He scrambled forward but then realised that the two boys were rather stupid, and just stood there, staring at Sam and Draco. Frodo lay on the grass and blinked, then reached out and took back his ring, which, in the scuffle with Sam, Draco had dropped and forgotten. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Aragorn looked up. The sounds of a scuffle could easily be heard through the stillness of the wood. Gimli looked up from sharpening his axe. Pippin pulled a face at Merry. 

"What's that?" Gimli asked. 

"I don't know," replied Aragorn. 

"Maybe we'd better go and see." The four got up and moved closer to the shouting. When they got close enough to see, they stopped and stared. It was the strangest sight they'd ever seen! A human boy was running in circles, yelling in pain, while clinging to his back, yelling just as loudly, was- 

Pippin almost died laughing. Merry elbowed him. 

"Hey! Sam's in trouble! We've got to help him!" 

"Right!" agreed Pippin. And before Aragorn or Gimli could say or do anything, they galloped into the fray with a triumphant yell of "CHAAAARGE!!!" 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Ginny and Hermione stared as the two hobbits charged in and barrelled right into Draco's legs, knocking him down. Sam was thrown off by the impact, and he rolled over on the grass to lie stunned next to Frodo. But Draco was no better off. Sam was immediately replaced by Merry and Pippin who sat on Draco, and proceeded to punch at him. Draco squawked, and yelled at Crabbe and Goyle. 

"Help me you fools!" But before either boy could do anything, there was a bright flash, a loud bang, and a cloud of smoke puffed out of nowhere. 

Then a loud voice cried, "NOBODY MOVE!" and two wizards stepped out of the smoke. Both were old and had long white hair and beards. One had half-moon spectacles and the other a tall pointy hat and bushy eyebrows that stuck out past the brim. Draco looked up from where Pippin was sitting on his shoulders, stunned. 

"Professor Dumbledore!" cried Ginny and Hermione, jumping out of the bushes. 

"Gandalf!" cried Legolas, Aragorn and Gimli, coming forward. Sam and Frodo sat silently, staring. Crabbe and Goyle gawked. Merry's and Draco's jaws dropped. 

"Oh muffins," said Pippin. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

TO BE CONTINUED.... 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

A/N: Pip: Oooooh! That was fun to write! But Merri's gonna be typing the next chapter to tellyou all the answers to few questions anyone might have.... 

Why do Gandalf and Dumbledore know each other.... 

What will Ron and Harry do when they meet their attackers.... 

What will happen when two young hobbits and two young wizards with similar tastes meet.... 

All that, and more! Next time on- 

-no - won't say it - oh - nooo - musn't - 

DragonBall Z! 

oh damn. 

Merri: heh heh heh heh heh heh! Muffins, Pip, muffins! 


	4. When Chickens Eat Horses very misleading...

Pip: Hi dudes! Here's chapter 4, and we thought we'd reply to some of our reviews, because I've seen other authors do that and I know as a reviewer it's nice to be appreciated. 

Raen: So Good is soy milk made by Sanitarium, Raen, so, um, sure why not! (My sis drinks it but I don't like it Yuk! _) (Are you British?) Okay! Here's the next chapter! Just don't- wait a minute- actually, I lied. There's no chapters here, you'll just have to set Legolas and Trunks on me, I can take it... ..^_~.. 

TreeBeard: Our space/time continuum (however you spell it) is- okay, yeah, it's warped. But we had to to get all the best characters in! ~^_^~ Yeah the hobbits do have swords but they aren't very good at using them, so they prefer to resort to fists. Anyway, that's funnier! Gollum is scared of Legolas *nasssty bright eyes burning* so he's staying away for now, and yes there will be Ents! 

Bast and Catnip: Thanks dudes! ^_^ 

MeShelly: Next chapter, right here! Oh, and thanks for the tips! 

Falan: will do! 

Pass the Porn Tea:  I take that as very high compliments! Thanks! We'll take this to the end! 

Okami: Don't worry, there will be plenty of magic later on! 

Moondaze: Gandalf's in it already! Keep reading! 

Merri: I think we forgot to say for the last two chapters that we own nothing and no-boyd. I like this chapter though the name might be a bit misleading. 

**CHAPTER 4: WHEN CHICKENS EAT HORSES.**

"Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took, I might have known." Gandalf smiled as he watched the young hobbits clamber off Draco and go over to Sam and Frodo dragging their feet. "Cheer up, you're in no more trouble than usual." Gandalf said with a chuckle. 

"Don't blame them Gandalf, I leapt out first and started this," Frodo said apologetically, standing up and brushing himself off. 

"No Mr. Frodo, it was me who leapt out and started banging him on the head, don't blame yourself." Sam placed a hand on Frodo's shoulder, "You couldn't stop yourself from protecting the Ring..." 

Dumbledore looked over at Draco who was being supported by Crabbe and Goyle. 

"You took Frodo's ring Mr. Malfoy?" 

"No Professor! They set it up! I found it and was just giving it back when his _servant boy _jumped on me and made me drop it." Malfoy looked down his nose at Sam with a superior air. 

"_Servant boy_?!" Sam balled his fists indignantly, "I may refer to Mr. Frodo as my Master but that's because he is my better and knows his letters, and my family has always been helping his family out. Mr. Frodo and I are friends more than servant and Master and I still have a good enough reason to defend him in time of need." Sam built his small size up as much as he could and kept a defensive hand on Frodo's shoulder. 

"Thank you Sam. We'll always be friends." Frodo turned to Sam and placed his hand atop of Sam's. Sam softened and smiled back. 

"Time of need? Why would Frodo be needing Sam if you were giving the ring back?" The question was on Gandalf's mind too, but Dumbledore asked it. 

"Time of need." Legolas stepped forward for the first time. His voice was light and gentle but his face was set. He rested a hand on Sam's head, "The boy struck Frodo about the head and was going to put the ring on and would've if it wasn't for Master Samwise." 

All eyes turned to Draco, and his insides churned. His thoughts had only been set on the trouble that Granger and Weasley would get into and now, it seemed, the tables had turned. 

"They attacked me!" he stammered, waving a hand in the hobbits' general direction. 

"They?" Asked Dumbledore, "Who are they? There are a lot of people in that direction Mister Malfoy." 

"The little people. The ones that were sitting on me and the other two." 

" Here now!" Pippin looked offended and taken aback, "I will not be referred to as 'little person' and be acknowledged by a wave of your hand in my general direction, not while I have a name and a race!" He placed his hands on his waist as if he was lecturing a young hobbit. 

"Yes, Mr. Pippin and I are very well thought of at home," Merry continued onto Pippin's comment, "We're hobbits from the Shire. I'm Meriadoc, son of Saradoc, heir to master of Buckland and Brandy Hall. This is my closest friend and companion, Peregrin, son of Paladin 2nd, heir to the Thain of the Shire and descendant of Isengrim, the 2nd, father of Bullroarer Took and the tenth Thain in the Took line. AND," Here Merry drew a deep breath and continued quickly without taking a second, "This is Samwise son of Hamfast the gardener and loyal and honest companion to this excellent hobbit Mr. Frodo son of Drogo Baggins, cousin to Bilbo, owner of Bag End AND Ringbearer for the Fellowship." Merry went slightly red through the latter part and then took a deep breath and smiled, "I don't think we have the time to introduce the others right now as Aragorn's introduction goes on a bit." 

Nearly everyone looked surprised or stunned. The other hobbits smiled, half laughing at Merry, half proud of what was said about them. 

"How can one hobbit know so much about all the other hobbits?" The question slipped from Hermione's mouth like a breath. 

Pippin grinned at Merry and turned to Hermione. 

"Here I recall a certain wizard," here he looked at Gandalf, "warning a past friend of the fate of letting a Hobbit talk to much." He cleared his throat and with a voice strangely like Gandalf's quoted, "These hobbits will sit on the edge of ruin and discuss the pleasures of the table, or the small doings of their fathers, grandfathers, great grandfathers and remoter cousins to the ninth degree if you encourage them with undue patience." Pippin finished with a little bow and smiled at Gandalf, proud that he could recall the knowledge said so long ago in Isengard. All the other hobbits clapped in approval. The clapping was followed by Gandalf letting out a long clear fart, which the hobbits joined in. "Oh pardon me!" 

He actually laughed, I just made that up. Oh, and the hobbits laughed too. 

_Pip is oficially an idiot... maybe I should type, FOOL OF A PIP! ruinig my chapter I don't know!_

See, this is why I type. Look how you spelled OFFICIALLY and RUINING. Tut tut tut. ANYWAY. 

The clapping was followed by Gandalf letting out a long clear laugh, which the hobbits joined in. 

"Well," said Aragorn, silencing the laughter from voices, but it remained sparkling in their eyes. "If we let the hobbits get any more comfortable, they'd remember that it's almost dinner time and promptly ask if you, Dumbledore, could offer them a grand feast and we could continue talk after their stomachs are full and their pipes are lit. Dumbledore smiled fondly at the hobbits' eager faces. 

"Of course. You shall have your feast. No harm was done, the Ring is in safe hands, and the students are found safe. There may be a few questions I'd still like to ask but that talk can wait till, as it was so wisely said, stomachs are full and pipes are lit." 

"I suppose that Harry, Ron and Hagrid will also have questions to ask after dinner, Professor," said Hermione. 

"Indeed. Now Hermione, you and the other students are to apologise to the heads of your houses before making an appearance at dinner," replied Dumbledore. 

"Yes Professor," they chorused, before heading up to the castle. 

"Well," said Dumbledore, turning to his guests, "I didn't expect so much fine company to be gracing my school. Oh dear! A king, a prince, two masters and a Thain, as well as a dear old friend and two welcome additions. Dinner doesn't start till I get there, so let us make haste." Dumbledore turned and headed off across the grounds, mumbling to himself. 

"Come," said Gandalf with a laugh, "let us introduce ourselves to Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry, shall we?" I silent agreement, the Fellowship headed off across the grounds, with the hobbits running ahead, eager to fill their stomachs. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Hermione and Ginny sped down the halls of the castle as fast as they could, skidding to a halt outside the Gryffindor common room. 

"Buttered popcorn!" they cried in unison. The Fat Lady swung out quickly, as the girls seemed to be in an excited hurry. Harry and Ron, who had just arrived back from the hospital wing, looked up from telling some other Gryffindors about the strange little people they'd met in the forest. 

"Come on!" cried Hermione. 

"We've got visitors for dinner!" cried Ginny, with a goofy grin on her face. "We'll see you down there, but we've got to find Professor McGonagall first, so hurry up or we'll beat you down!" The girls ran back out the portrait and into the staff room. 

In the common room, there was stillness as the gryffindors came to terms with what was said. Then the room exploded with excited chatter. It seemed every Gryffindor was trying to get out of the portrait at the same time, all of the wanting to know just who was coming to dinner. Everyone the swarming Gryffindors met in the corridors became alive with curiosity and soon a mass of students threw back the door to the Great Hall and hurried to be seated at their house tables. 

Dumbledore stood and held up his hands. "Students of Hogwarts," he began. Today you might have heard rumours, witnessed or noticed some strange happenings around the school. Students missing from classes, loud bangs or people coming out of the Forbidden Forest, which, I would like to remind you, Is still forbidden and dangerous. I don't often ask you to do this, but could you please stand as our honoured guests here tonight join us in our meal." A ripple of whispers spread across the hall, as benches scraped and students removed hats and stood up, watching the doors as they opened magically. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Pip: Well, finally chapter four is finished and up. Sorry about the fart bit, I just couldn't help myself. *snicker* Merri doesn't approve of me. The next chapter probably won't be up to soon, because I do have school and homework by the bushel, so don't expect too much. Merri's busy too, so just stick around and don't lose heart, it will come! Ciao! 

Merri: clapping followed by a long,clear fart! I'm not sure about you sometimes Pip, really, I'm scared! Just a note that, even though I don't usually buy it, I HAD to get this months Dolly for the ETERNALLY DEVINE AND DELECTABLE pics of our one and only Orlando Bloom. (Leo who? gotta love it!) Anyhoo! Prev chapters up quick, holidays, chapter 4 up today, holiday (ANZAC day), no more holidays till June/July but luckily we do ACTUALLY have free time to write/type occasionally and there's always Maths for me so yeah. Naramie! 


	5. The Room With No Roof

Pip: Hi! Here's another chapter, another round of review replies and here we go! 

Sailor Capricorn: Gollum will be back, we just have to figure out how! *sweatdrop* Yep, you probably are the only (semi) sane one. I'm definitely not. Most of the time. I haven't seen that much Sailor Moon, but I like Sailor Mars best. 

And we choose 1 and 6. Wait, that's not an option. Okay, 5. Me and Merri are really good friends who work together in writing cos it turns out better that way because we have both of our ideas. And thank you for reviewing! ~^_^~ 

Raen: Hey! You said you'd set Legolas and Trunks on me! You can't just take them back! Awww... Oh, and tone it down, you're scaring everyone away! *snicker* ~^_^~ Peeves will come, thanks for reminding me of him! And smoking at Hogwarts... hmmm, interesting concept. 

Gill: Thanks for the compliments! And keep reading! ~^_^~ 

Tidmag: Why thank you! *blush* 

Basilisk: Glad you like it so much! Please come again! ^_^ 

Pip: Okay! Well, this is chapter Five! *oooh, aaah* Disclaimer we own noboyd and nothing yadda yadda. 

Merri: Here we go! Hold onto your hats and enjoy the ride! 

**CHAPTER FIVE: THE ROOM WITH NO ROOF**

If you think the entrance hall, the marble stair and the doors to the great hall were big enough in the Harry Potter books, I assure you it was much bigger from the eyes of the hobbits. 

"Wow," Merry breathed, more to himself than the dumbstruck Pippin beside him. The two hobbits stood back to back, slowly circling each other in the middle of the entrance hall. Sam and Frodo stood beside Gimli, who smiled approvingly. 

Above them, Legolas and Aragorn were holding council with Gandalf. After coming to what seemed a mutual decision, Gandalf spoke to everyone. 

"It seems the only thing to do at the present is accept the kind hospitality of Dumbledore and rest here tonight. Tomorrow-" He cut off as he noticed he didn't have everyone's attention. 

"The roof's so high Pip, are you sure they have one?" Merry asked, staring straight up and not noticing what anyone else was doing. 

"I think so Merry, or we'd be able to see the sky." For once Pippin replied with logic. 

"Oh. Do you think that a really tall person built the roof?" Merry wasn't quite sure why he asked such a weird question. 

"Dunno. Look at the stairs Merry, are all staircases that high?" Pippin's last rotation had brought him round looking at the stairs. 

"Hmm, I wonder what's going to be for dinner?" Merry thought aloud. Pippin's slow circling brought him facing the rest of the Fellowship. He stopped and reached behind him, trying to get Merry's attention. 

"What Pippin? What is it? Oh, ummm..." Merry turned around and stood next to Pippin. "Um, did you er, did you say something Gandalf?" he asked sheepishly. 

"Are you quite finished Meriadoc?" Gandalf said with an air of controlled annoyance. 

"Um, yes. Um. So. Oh look at that! The doors are opening," Merry spoke quickly, and grabbed Pippin's arm and started edging towards the door. 

"Wait!" said Gandalf, holding up a hand. "Age before hobbits!" 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Gandalf walked in front with Aragorn and Legolas behind him. Gimli strode by Legolas and Frodo, Sam, Merry and Pippin brought up the rear. As Merry went through the doorway he stopped and patted Pippin's shoulder. 

"Up! Look up! No roof!" Merry gripped the shoulder of Pippin's waistcoat and pointed upwards. 

"This one doesn't have a roof!" exclaimed Pippin. The two hobbits stood still, staring up and around at the floating candles, the enchanted ceiling, the house crests, the staff table and then around at everything again. 

Finally they rested their necks and scanned over the watching faces of the students at the tables. 

"Wooow! Hey Pip, I don't understand it, so many young children in one room, I didn't know there were so many children in the world!" 

"Maybe it's done with mirrors." 

"No, I don't think so, I think it's this 'Witchcraft and Wizardry' thing." 

"Come to think of it, we haven't ever been to a place like Gondor or Rohan with men in them, so maybe there's just lots of men in the world we haven't seen yet." 

"Right." 

"Excuse me, Merry, Pippin?" 

"What Sam?" 

"Gandalf sent me to fetch you. You're holding up the meal." 

"Huh?" Pippin looked around and saw that the Fellowship was already seated and that everyone was watching and waiting for them. "Uh, oops." The three hobbits took of at a run to the table. 

"Nice of you to join us," commented Aragorn. Gimli chuckled. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

"So," Pippin asked Gandalf between mouthfuls, "how dya *munch* know the *chew* old guy up there?" 

"I know the 'old guy up there' from a lot of places you wouldn't ever have heard of, young Peregrin," replied Gandalf with a chuckle. "He happens to be on the White Council and the Order of the Secret Fire (A/N a.k.a. Order of the Phoenix), same as me." 

"Oh," said Pippin, finding his food a lot more interesting. 

The hobbits sat among conversation that went over their curly heads, and chewed thoughtfully. They sat quietly for some time when they were sated, when something, or to be more precise, two somebodies caught their eyes. Two identical red-headed boys were craning to get a good look at them. Sitting near the boys were Hermione and Ginny, who they recognised. Thinking no one would notice them leaving, the four hobbits slipped down from the table and across to the girls. 

"Hi!" said Pippin cheerily. Hermione and Ginny smiled. The red-heads gawked. 

"Hi there!" replied Ginny. Around them people were getting up and heading back to the common rooms, trying to get as good a look at the hobbits as they could on the way. 

"Hi," said Hermione. "Did you enjoy your meal?" 

"Yeah," sighed Pippin. 

"No mushrooms," said Merry. 

"Oh! Can I introduce my friends to you?" asked Hermione. The hobbits all nodded. "These are my friends, Harry and Ron." She indicated them as she said their names. Recognition slowly dawned on Pippin and Merry, and Harry and Ron stared, open-mouthed. Merry grew uncomfortable and Pippin scuffed his toes on the floor. 

"You!" cried Harry. Pippin looked up, his eyes big and apologetic. (Just like in FOTR movie after Gandalf yelled at him in Moria! AWWW! He's so adorable! ~^_^~ ) 

"We're sorry," he mumbled. Merry nodded. 

"We didn't mean for you to get hit like that. Our friends thought we were in trouble." 

"Oh, it's okay," said Ron. "You got us out of Potions, anyway!" Harry and Ron smiled, and Pippin and Merry met their smiles with matching ones. Suddenly Sam growled menacingly, put his fists up and stepped protectively in front of Frodo. Harry and Ron looked around in time to see Draco, Crabbe and Goyle walking hurriedly away. Hermione giggled and quickly told them what happened with Draco and Sam. Harry, Ron and the red-heads laughed uproariously. 

"That's the funniest thing I ever heard!!!" exclaimed the nearest red-head. Pippin smiled proudly and turned to the boys. 

"Who're you?" 

"I'm Fred and he's George, but we answered to both," Fred replied. They looked at Merry and Pippin, and Merry and Pippin looked back, and they all smiled happily, in a connecting way. 

"I think we're going to get on just fine," commented George. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*(this is fun)~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

MW: N E WAY! Soz about that but those things are cool... hmmm, yes... I would just like to comment that I wrote most of this chapter because Pip has lotza homework and mine seems to keep vanishing from the back of my hand every time I have a shower.... how strange... oh well, I had more time but Pip likes reading what I write and don't worry, GOLLUM IS GOING TO BE IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!!!!! There's also going to be a bit of magic and mayhem and some flying hobbits so come back when we put it up!! Um, Pip just had a brilliant idea!! Hobbits playing Quidditch... the next chapter is going to be a long one.... he he he he.... hmm, now to return to my plotting for the next chap. 

Pip: actually, she plots to take over the world... but keep it under your hats.... 


	6. Bedknobs and Broomsticks without the Bed...

Pip: OMGoodness, how long has it been? *smacks forehead* Yeesh! Here's some more review replies for yas, to show how much we luv yas! Keep on reviewing! 

Mile: Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you get time to read the rest! ^_^ 

guess: 1. If I knew what tesseract meant it would help, 2. Frodo on a broom is a very popular notion! 3. Gollum will probably bite Draco's butt, I'll just have to put it in there somewhere! Thank 4 reviewing! 

Psycho: Okay! It's here! It's here! Sorry it took so long! 

Akiko SkywalkerGreenleafPotter: Thanks a lot! ^_^ 

Deity: glad you like it so much! 

Raen: Sure, have Japan, I don't mind, just as long as Pip gets Gohan. Have fun reading this, because do you know how long it took to write this? And when's the next one of YOUR chapters gonna be up? ;p 

Basilisk: DUDE!! Glad you had so much fun! 

LadyIniquity: Yes ma'am, I'm doing it now! Thanks for reviewing so many times! 

Tidmag:  Keep reading... 

the-nik-chik-hgirl: Yes, we did notice how similar they are, that's why we wrote this! We'll keep on writing as long as you keep on reading! 

Sailor Capricorn: Thanks for returning and reviewing so many times! Sorry to keep you waiting for this chap! ~^_^~ I like this: ("If history is to change, let it change. If the world is to be destroyed, so be it. If my fate is to die, I must simply laugh." ~Magus, ending 11) 

MeShelly: ~^_^~ (no other words for it) 

Eyowen: Glad to be of service to ya! We aim to please! ^_^ 

Pip: Now that's out of the way, we can make story magic! Finally! oh yeah we don't own it blah blah blah. 

Merry: Sorry it's taken so long but bumbling Hobbits take a long time to organise. ^_^ 

**CHAPTER 6: Bedknobs and Broomsticks without the Bedknobs**

Yawn sigh quote mark "Somebody save us quickly and stop them getting acquainted!" Gandalf looked across the hall at the hobbits Merry and Pippin meeting the Weasley twins. "Merry, Pippin, Sam, Frodo, move your hobbit legs back to your seats." The hobbits looked up at Gandalf with a rebellious smudge across their faces. 

"But-" 

"-Gandalf-" 

"We were only-" 

"-no harm meant-" 

"-please-" 

"-one more minute-" 

"-please?" The hobbits stumbled over their words, waving their arms in an indicating way. Gandalf looked at them with a hard measuring gaze. 

"Awww." Merry and Pippin slouched back to the table, dragging their feet and mumbling obscenities. Sam and Frodo followed less grudgingly. Once seated again they were served wine and they whispered among themselves. Merry and Pippin pulled faces at Fred and George across the hall. Frodo drained his cup. 

"Aaaarg! Hissssss!" 

There was an almighty crash and Frodo spat his wine out in an most un-Baggins-ish way before falling off his chair in his hurry to the door. Sam frowned, apologised on Frodo's behalf and followed hie master to the door. Gollum opened his eyes to see a hairy tapping foot by his head. 

"Nasssssssty Sssssamwissssssse hobbit" he hissed, clambering up to see Frodo standing beside Sam. "Masssster goood masssster Ssssmeagol is a good boy! Yes he is yes 'e iiiiis! Came to find kiiind Baggginsssssss maassssster!" 

AN: Sorry about that, Merri was dictating and I kinda went psycho with the keys! ^_^; I'll be good now. There, I put on my very awesome Digimon CD and that'll calm down the hyperness! 

Hagrid herded back the curious students, who had rushed out at the noise. 

Gollum was soon aware of Merry and Pippin standing by Sam and the rest of the Fellowship (with the nasty elf with the bright eyes) and Snape, Dumbledore, McGonagall and Flitwick. Harry, Ron and Hermione were with Hagrid by the door. Frodo knelt by Gollum. 

"What happened Smeagol? You scared your poor master. I was thinking that you were hurt." Frodo spoke with civilly and calmly when to others it might have been more fitting for harsh words. 

"Nasssty floating elves," he hissed, "Noisy white, floating elvessss. He threw that at Ssssmeagol." He stretched a long bony finger towards a metal urn lying in two not far away. 

Frodo looked around. 

"Peeves. I'll stake me life on it." Hagrid said from the doorway. 

There was a wild cackle of laughter that echoed round the top of the stairs. 

"Uh oh," said Ron, "here comes another prank." With a loud _woooosh_, the broom flew straight at the group of hobbits, sweeping Merry away with it as he turned in surprise to see what was coming. Merry let out a cry of surprise and fear. 

"HEEEEELP MEEEEEE!!!!!" he yelled, clutching the bristles in panic. The broom followed his unwitting instructions and zoomed around the entrance hall, swooping and turning at an alarming speed. Those down below stared up in wonder, fascination and horror at the flying hobbit. Pippin cupped his hands to his mouth. 

"HEY MERRY! IF WE PASS YOU A DUSTER, COULD YOU DO THE CORNERS FOR US?" he yelled. Sam elbowed him. 

"Don't be cruel Master Pippin. How would you like to be in his position?" The students stared up. 

"TURN AROUND! YOU'RE ON BACKWARDS!" called Harry. Draco sniggered. Ron turned. 

"Sorry, I thought you'd died or something. No such luck. What's so funny?" Draco shrugged. 

"Nothing. It's just that that's my broom." Ron stared at Draco, then looked at Harry. Harry nodded and headed out of the big front doors. 

"SHUTTHEDOORSHUTTHEDOORSHUTTHEDOOR!!!" yelled Merry as the broom made for the exit. Harry ducked back inside and closed it. The broom executed a perfect hairpin turn and zoomed upwards. Harry pulled out his wand. Pippin jumped backwards, muttering about sharp objects in people's eyes. 

"ACCIO FIREBOLT!" There was silence for a minute, then with a _swish_, the broom flew smoothly down the stairs to hover in front of Harry. He laid his hands on the handle. Pippin came forward, intrigued. Harry vaulted onto the handle and flew upwards to check the insane broom's flight. He waited for the broom to pass him, before sweeping after in a brilliant potential-snitch-capturing move. He quickly caught up with the broom, just as it started to spiral around and around. 

"HeeeLLPPpp mmeeeEEEE i'm gooooIIIINNNgg to bE SIIIICkkkk," cried Merry, clinging on. Harry threw himself forward and grabbed the broom between both hands, swinging off his own broom and on to the other. Sitting the correct way around, he managed to gain control of the rampaging broom and bring it to earth, allowing the exhausted and very frightened Merry to slide off. Harry's broom floated gently down and hovered a few feet off the floor next to Harry, as if returning to its master. Merry threw himself flat on the floor and kissed it. 

"Oh floor I love you don't ever leave me again," he moaned. Sam and Frodo ran over to him, the former ashen-faced. 

"Oh Mister Merry, I could have sworn you were going to fall off and die, I was so afeared for you," Sam cried, helping Merry up. Merry smoothed himself down, straightening his clothes, grinning around at everyone with one of his famous "something went wrong and I was behind it" mischievous grins. 

"Oh, I wasn't that scared really. A piece of cake," she said in an offhand sort of tone. He smiled broadly. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Pippin watched everyone gather around Merry and slowly backed towards Harry's broom. He laid an admiring hand on the sleek polished handle. Harry smiled at him. 

"Do you like it?" Pippin looked up with shining eyes, and nodded. "Do you want a go?" 

"Oh could I?" breathed Pippin, and at a nod from Harry, climbed on. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

AN: 

MW: TAADAA!!!!! We have FINALLY got this DONE!!!!!! 

PS: That's right peeps, we have finally got chapter six up! Now hurry up and review so we can get another one up! Oh this feels soooo gooood......~^_^~ 

MW: Hey everyone, buy Viggo's book! He's such a good artist and photographer and actor, he's awesome. The proceeds go to a terminally ill guy in the LOTR crew. AWESOME DUDE! 

PS: Yeah, i wanna be like him. He's my new idol. Hey, Merri wrote a cool poem (or not so cool...) 

MW: A poem by me. 

Buy buy buy Viggo's book 

It's got a cool piccy of Dominic fishing so 

Buy buy buy Viggo's book 

It's the first time that Dom caught a fish. Boom boom. 

Buy buy buy Viggo's book 

It's got a cool black and white pic of Elijah so 

Buy buy buy Viggo's book 

Cos the piccies are all really cool. Boom boom. 

Buy buy buy Viggo's book 

Its full of the landscapes New Zealand holds close to her 

Buy buy buy Viggo's book 

This is the end of the song. Boom boom. 

*CANNED CHEERING* 

PS: I think she needs to go to bed..... 


	7. AWho Turned Out The Lights? BAaah! There...

Pip: And here's some more review reviews! Keep 'em coming folks! 

Kaylin: hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe.... 

tipitoes: OKAY OKAY!!! We're doing it! Arg! 

woodelf193: Note to selves, put in more Legolas and less Gandalf. Merri: Woah, this is like potions class... And Voldie is in this very chapter! ^_~ 

PixieDust: We're glad we made you laugh! That's what it's here for! And don't worry, Leggy aint gonna fall in love unless there's a REALLY good reason. 

EowynOfRohan37: Yes, I rather like my genius *buffs fingernails* 

LadyIniquity: Thank you for reviewing again! Luv ya! ^_~ We are now posting the next chap, as you commanded. 

Danielle: We try not to repeat stuff, but some of it is ground stuff we need to remind people of. But anyway, I'm glad we prevent your boredom! 

Psyco101: Hey! Thanks, we're doing this a.f.a.p., but you know, school etc.... *sigh* And sometimes we get writers block too. :( But we get over it! 

Spock Lover: You better use lots of stickytape to keep your head on! You might miss it. ^_^ 

Ellewyn Greenleaf: Woah, lotsa smiles! You made me smile! A smile is a gift you give yourself! Merri: You stole that saying didn't you. Pip: Yeah well... 

beth : I think Merry and Pippin will be getting along just fine with Gred and Forge! Merri: Gred and Forge?? Perry and Mippin??? 

Michelle: Quick! Read more! 

Mile: Hey Mile! Email me, 'K? 

------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Pip: Hey folks and welcome to another round of this very silly fanfic! Hooray! 

Merri: Today, we have a fic helper to help us introduce the **darkside **of this story. So please start up the canned cheering for... SQUID!! 

*canned cheering* 

Squid: I don't know what I'm meant to be doing, but anyway... 

Pip: Aaah, who cares! Neither do we! (Where did shecome up with that name? It's so stupid!) 

**CHAPTER SEVEN PART A: Who Turned Out The Lights? **

Somewhere dark and spooky, a sinister plot was hatching. Around a blazing bonfire chanted ranks of bearers of the Dark Mark. To the side stood a single dark, evil looking figure. He had once been a great and powerful wizard, but now he was but a shadow of his former self. But at least he had a body back. He turned to the short and greasy man who stood next to him. 

"Soon, Wormtongue, soon I will once again rise to my former glory! I will be He Who Must Not Be Named, striking fear into the hearts of my enemies!" He smirked in his chair, holding his staff in one hand and stroking his snake with the other. Nagini hissed happily at his touch. The greasy man spluttered something grovellingly, with much bowing and scraping. The dark wizard settled back, one hand on his chin, musing. "If only... it was so close and yet slipped out of my grasp... I would already be greater than ever before." He ground his teeth, making a horrible fingernails-down-blackboard noise. "So close, so CLOSE!" 

One of the Death Eaters broke away from the crowd and advanced towards the great chair. He bowed low. 

"Oh great Lord of All, I have returned." 

"So I see, Lucius. Well? Did you find them?" The Dark Wizard leaned forward in his chair in anticipation. 

"Yes, O Great One. I recovered them and brought them back. Unfortunately, their steeds were lost in the rapids. But they still exist." 

The Evil Lord smiled maliciously. "Excellent. You have done well. Bring them forth." 

Almost on cue, out of the shadows melted nine tall dark hooded figures. The filed silently forward and stopped before their master, their breath coming in foul hisses. 

"Well? Have you any news?" 

"Yesss, Lord. It hasss been taken abroad, out of the confines of the once-shadowed wood," hissed the tallest, obviously the leader. "We have losssst track of it, temporarily. We will ssssoon be back on the trail." 

"Good." He settled back on his throne, his snake coiled about his shoulders. "Well, until we have track of that again, I will turn back to more important matters. Wormtail!" 

"Yes, Dark Lord?" crawled the greasy man, grovelling at his feet. 

"Well? Is everything in order for our plan?" 

"Yes, of course sir!" 

"Good. Once that Dumbledore and his precious Potter are out of the way, the path will be cleared for my domination! I will once again control the world!! I will be the most exalted of all Wizards ever born!" He laughed evilly, a really good scary evil laugh that scares the socks off all the good guys. 

One of the Death Eaters turned to a companion. "How does he do that? I've been trying and trying to get a laugh as good." 

"Naah, I think you need to be a REALLY EVIL guy before you can laugh like that." 

"I guess. Man he has an inflated ego! He thinks he's so good!" 

"Ssssh! He'll hear you!" 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

**CHAPTER SEVEN PART B: Aah, there we go! I can see again!**

Pippin got off the broom, his cheeks glowing. "Oh that were fan_tas_tic, Harry! Bloody brilliant!" 

Ron looked put out. "Stealing my phrases, geeze," he muttered to Hermione. 

"Can I have another go?" asked Pippin. Sam rolled his eyes and looked at Frodo. 

"There you are, Mister Frodo, Master Pippin's thinking of not important things instead of the wellbeing and protection of the Ring. Isn't that typical? He needs to sort out his priorities!" 

Ron looked even more annoyed. "My phrases! MY phrases!" 

Harry grinned at Sam. "You want a go?" Sam looked unsure. Pippin smirked and urged him to get on. "Come on! Don't panic!" 

Sam opened one eye, floating uncertainly on the broom. "Can I panic now?" he asked in a little squeaky voice. Ron turned and stomped off up the stairs, yelling things like, "Plagiarism!" "I'm calling my lawyer!" "There's no respect these days!" and the like. Harry sighed and laughed. 

"Don't worry, he'll be okay." 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

From the top of the stairs where Ron had marched off (Hermione close on his tail trying to calm him down) Cho appeared unnoticed._ *Who is that tall handsome gentleman?* _she thought to herself. 

"Now, what's going on down here? I heard yelling," Cho said as she dramatically strutted down the stairs trying to impress Legolas. 

"Peeves was just pulling a prank." Harry said with a goofy "well I'm impressed" look in his eyes. 

Legolas turned away, noticing that she was watching him. 

"Who are your friends Harry?' Cho tried to make sure Legolas can see her. 

_*she's not here..*_ Legolas suddenly became very interested in what Gimli was saying. 

"Oh these aren't.." Harry suddenly thought better of it and hurriedly introduced them all. 

_*If I can't see her, she can't see me..*_

"Wow. Those are some pretty strange names! Gollum looks like he's come out of our 'Care of magical Creatures' text book!" Cho laughed cutely and Ginny (who has just appeared in this part of the story) made a being sick motion to Ron, who had come back with Hermione. 

_*Stop looking at me! I'm at least 2000 years older than you!*_

"Yeah, he does a bit." Harry was trying so hard! 

"Issss she being mean to usssss?" Gollum advanced on Cho. 

"URRG! it TALKS!" Appalled, Cho backed away in a damsel-in-distress manner. 

_* does she have to pose?*_

"Call it OFF!" 

Frodo rolled his eyes and called Gollum to him, "...and if you start scaring more people, I'll make the nasty Elf look after you!" 

"He's not nasty! I think he is just about the nicest being in this room!" Cho said firmly. 

_*I'll just ignore those looks..* _Legolas smiled at the complement, wondering when they get to leave. Merry glanced at his face, then sidled over to Pippin and whispered something in his ear, glancing pointedly at Legolas and Cho. Both hobbits burst into laughter. 

_*DAMN IT! STOP IT! YOU'RE RUINING MY COMPOSURE AS THE CONFIDENT ONE!*_

Legolas' face twitched as he turned away to Gimli. Cho smiled at him as he did so, causing Legolas to look a bit worse for wear. Gimli took one look at Legolas' pleading help-me-out-here face, then turns to Dumbledore and Gandalf. 

"Please excuse me, Gandalf, but shouldn't we be getting some rest? The hobbits must be exhausted by now, and I know I won't be passing up the chance for a comfy bed!" said Gimli, looking hopeful. Gandalf nodded and turned to Dumbledore, who smiled. 

"Alright students, head for your commonrooms, it's getting late. Our travellers need a rest after their long trip. Come along!" He indicated to the Fellowship, and lead them up the sweeping stairs towards the guest bedrooms. Harry looked to his friends and grinned. "Come on, you heard him! Goodnight all!" Everyone headed to their individual beds, except Gollum, who slipped out the door into the dark night. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Pip: Hooray! Another chappy up! Some people must be figuring out the plot by now, but everyone keep on reviewing! Thanks to all those who have already reviewed, it encourages us and one of them even inspired some events in this very chapter! ^_^ 

Merri: Squid was perfectly useless with that chapter, and made no contribution whatsoever, so she'll never be helping ever again. 

Pip: Especially with a name like that..... 


	8. The Chapter of the Horrific Song Titles!

Pip: Hey! It's the next chapter! And what a weird one it is... sheesh.... Anyway, review thingies! 

fool of a took: Yes. I agree. I don't like Cho. That's why we made her like that! 

PixieDust: We update as often as we can, it's just sometimes we have homework =o( but we do try! 

Psyco101: I'll remember to wear ear plugs! =oP 

Wudandre Greenleaf: *also stares longingly at Legolas* Mmm, Orlando is fine! Hello! This is us saying hello to you! Have a nice day! ^_^ 

Elithraniel: The name of Viggo's book? Um, I'll get back to you on that, WATCH THIS SPACE 

tipitoes: Hello again! House elves, eh? Hmmmm.... 

Walawalabear: A) He isn't going for her, B) Wouldn't Cho making eyes at you make you nervous? C) This is a fanfic! He's normal the rest of the time! Anyway, thanks for reviewing and sharing your comments! ^_^ 

JJ : There will be more! Trust us! 

Pip: There we go! This chappy is gonna be weird, just a warning! If you spot any song titles we haven't highlighted, feel free to point them out in a review! Have a nice life! ~^_^~ 

**CHAPTER EIGHT: The Chapter of the Horrific Song Titles!! **

**Morning has broken**. The sunlight crept over the crisp winter frost and the night's chill still lingered behind the closed curtains of the castle. The picturesque scene was broken by some loud shouts and splashes as the Hobbits started their first full day at Hogwarts with a "quick dip in the pond." A tuneful voice began singing loudly and was joined by a slightly-out harmony. 

"Sing Hey! for the bath at the break of day! 

That washes all the sleep away! 

A fool is he that would not sing, 

O! Water.." 

"FREEZING!!" 

"Freezing? Freezing doesn't fit does it?" 

"**I'm cold**! Lessee... O! Water freezing is a noble.. no, it doesn't really fit now does it?" 

"Nah." 

"**Stop foolin' around**. I could have told you that.." 

"Oh shush Sam! It's not like you would know whether it was hot or cold, you're not even in!" Pippin splashed loudly and Sam yelled. Frodo let out his "marvellous Elijah Wood laugh" at his friends. 

"**Good Morning**!" Two figures emerged from the front doors and came over the thawing ground to the bathing hobbits. 

"Good Morning!" called Merry cheerily. "Did you sleep well?" 

"Uh, yes, thank you," replied one of the people, who was Harry Potter. The other was Ron, still half asleep. 

"Um, you don't suppose those nice brothers o' yours will be out soon?" queeried Pippin. Ron nodded. 

"Yeah. We're having a Quidditch practice. They're our beaters," said Ron with a yawn. Pippin and Merry grinned. Then Sam noticed what Harry carried under his arm. 

"A broom?" he asked, looking a little queasy. Merry turned a **whiter shade of pale**. 

"Don't worry! You won't be **flying without wings**!" grinned Harry. 

"**Hallelujah**!" Merry said, shuddering at the **memory** of **yesterday**. "**Angels **love me!" 

"**Smile**, Merry!" said Pippin. "**Things can only get better**!" 

Suddenly a booming shout rang out across the grounds. 

"HARRY!! MORNIN'!!!" Hagrid strode towards them, looking **larger than life**. "Goin' off to Quidditch practice?" 

"Good Morning Hagrid! Yes, we are." Then the rest of the Griffindor Quidditch team arrived on the scene. Angelina Johnson gasped. 

"**Like wow!** It's the hobbits! I never got a chance to meet you before." She grinned and waved hello. 

"Come on! We've gotta get to practice you know. **Time waits for nobody**." 

"**Sure**!" The Quidditch team headed across to the pitch. From the forbidden forest, a pair of **bright eyes** watched **unseen**. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

"Ready?" called Ron. "I'm gonna release the snitch! **Play**!" W ith a flash the snitch zipped into the air and vanished from view. Harry soared above as the rest of the team practiced below. Suddenly Harry spied the snitch, hovering a foot off the ground. He swooped down, stretched out his fingers to catch it.... 

"PRECIOUS!!!!!" A blur from the forest made a **break away**, and dived for the snitch... Harry tried to avert... the blur (know as Gollum) landed on the broom, the snitch tightly in his grasp... Harry rolled off the broom, and managed to grasp hold of the **shaft** with one hand.... and an **MMMbop** later they were headed **higher and higher** into the sky, leaving those on the ground **breathless**. **High** above, Harry swung by one hand from his broom, which was swerving crazily as Gollum sat perched on top, gazing at the fluttering snitch in his hand. Harry gulped. 

"**Say what you want**, but I'm worried," fretted Sam. Frodo patted his shoulder, and took a breath. 

"SMEAGOL!" Gollum's ears twitched and he looked down. "Smeagol! **Come on down**!" Sam growled between his teeth. 

"**Good for nothing** wretch, when I get ahold ofhim I'll-" 

"Hush Sam," sooth Frodo. "**Give peace a chance**." 

"A little **help **here?!" called Harry. "I don't **[we] have all the time in the world**!" 

"Don't worry!" called Ron. "We'll get you down! **Hey Jude**!" he called to the newest member of the team. "**Say, say, say**, can you get on your broom and get up there?" 

"Can do!" Jude leapt on her broom and flew up, catch Harry's free hand. 

"**Woah**," sighed Pippin, face glowing. "**It's a kind of magic**!" 

"It's a **nightmare**," contradicted Sam. Suddenly Jude screamed. Everyone, who wasn't already, looked up. Harry was falling **headlong**. 

"**Lady Madonna**!" cried Fred. 

"**Lucy in the sky with diamonds**!" yelled George. Ron didn't **think twice**. He grabbed the nearest broom and flew upwards, catching Harry before he was able to **crash and burn**. Harry looked up. 

"Ron! You saved me!" 

"**You've got a friend in me**, Harry. Plus, I was **under pressure**. It was the first thing I thought of." Ron shrugged it off while lowering to the ground. Jude had managed to get Gollum on Harry's broom to the ground too, and Gollum was crouching by Frodo, stroking his 'precious'. 

"I'm so glad you did. **Imagine** what would've happened if you hadn't! Nearly saw the **shape of my heart**. You're a friend like **nobody else**." Harry grinned at his best friend. 

"Oh well, **the show must go on**," said Fred. "Come on! Back to practice!" 

Pippin, meanwhile, had picked up George's broom, and was flying around on it not too far off the ground. Fred spied him. 

"So you think you can be on the team, eh? Well. There's only one thing for it. We'll have to race." 

"**Bicycle race**?** Anything you can do, I can do better**," said Pippin decicvely. "You're on." 

"**Boys will be boys**." Alicia smiled. "Mind if I join you? I fancy a challenge." 

"That's** the impression that I get**. Sure thing, but prepare to be beaten." 

"Here comes** trouble! Whip it**, boy!" Needless to say, Alicia whipped ass. "**Alicia rules the world**!" she cried in glee. 

"**Bitch**. **Why does it always rain on me**?" muttered Fred, going off to sulk. Merry laughed and high-fived Pippin, who'd come second. 

"He was **nowhere near** you!" 

"Yeah! I'm beginning to like this sport," Pippin said with a smile and a twinkle in his eye. "**We are the champions**!" 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

A dark figure hidden in the trees on the edge of the forbidden forest, next to a **lemon tree**, watched the hobbits in wonder. He shook his head in disbelief, "He's here... with Potter. The whole time..." A bush rustled as he disappeared back into the forest. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

AN: Pip: Hey ho, there's chapter eight! It was really only a filling in a chapter for the next bit, which will be far better, I promise! Now all you've got to do is review, and there'll be chapter nine! It is the holidays right now, so we'll have some free time for a couple of weeks. So enjoy this chapter! It was kinda wierd.... 

Gohan: You're telling me! 

Pip: Gohan? What the heck are you doing in this? this is AUTHOR'S NOTE! Can't you read? 

Gohan: Yes, but I was enjoying it so much, I wanted to say hello. Cos there was another fic you put me in and someone said it was rubbish in a review, so I decided to come to the good one. 

Pip: Awww, shucks. Man, I laughed so much when I read that! HAHAHAHAHA!! Well, say it! 

Gohan: What? 

Pip: Hello! 

Gohan: Oh. Hi! 

Pip: Now say g'bye and don't make this a regular thing. 

Gohan: Aaaawww, okaaay. Bye! 

Pip: Weird. Anyway, til next time! 


	9. INSERT REALLY GOOD TITLE HERE

Pip: I'd like to send out a formal apology for the last chapter, errr, what can I say.... Sorry! ^_^V 

tipitoes: I'm glad you liked the chap, it was a bit weird!!! ^_^v 

Katronette: You like Haldir? Cool! Me too! He was acted by a guy called Craig Parker. I saw an interview with him and Strassman, it was cool and he looks like a really sweet guy too (he reminds me of my cousin, freaky!). He's a New Zealander! What a legend!!! Kiwis rock the world!! (*blatant patriotism*) He used to act on Shortland Street, which is a load of crap, but if he's in it, I'll watch it! ~^_^~ Go Haldir! We might stick him in the fic if at all possible! 

Walawalabear: Yeah, we got a lot of Beatles songs in there, hehehehe! 

Aarundell: Don't worry!!! Cho will not, I repeat, **_will not_** get Legolas!!! It's okay!!! Sorry about the song titles, it was late at night when we wrote it. 

zeynel: Writing! Right now! Promise! 

Europa: Yeah, we went down the back of all our CDs and grabbing the best sounding titles. Some are kiwi bands, which are really good (*cough*Zed*cough*). The awesome foursome will be up to tricks in no time! You'll see! ^_~ 

Psyco101: Don't worry about the sugar, I just ate poached eggs on toast, so no suger there. The last chap was kinda a filler chap for this one. It had one important sentence we needed said. Oh well! 

Shadow Pals: Wow! When you review, you sure review! Cool! ^_^ I'm glad we pleased you! That's what we're here for! And Sauron doesn't have Balrogs, I've read the books, I know. ^_^ But he does have Dark Riders! Anyway, thanks for reviewing all those times!! =oD 

Pip: Well, there's the review reviews. Merri's on the phone, she'll be back in a sec, but in the meantime, I'll get started! 

DISCLAIMER: WE DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER OR LOTR, SO DON'T SUE US!!! Thank you! ~^_^~ 

**CHAPTER NINE: [INSERT REALLY GOOD TITLE HERE]**

"Lord! Lord Voldemort!" A man ran into Voldemort's hideout. He was wearing the guise of a Death Eater, dark cloak and all. "Lord Voldemort!" All the others in the hideout turned their heads and stared at him as he came in. Voldemort himself looked up. 

"Who's there? What do you want?" he demanded. The man fell down onto his knees in front of Voldemort's throne. 

"Lord, I have seen him, I know where he is who carries-" he stuttered. Voldemort cut him off sharply. 

"Do not speak of it aloud!" he thundered. "Where is it?" The man trembled. 

"It -he- is at Hogwarts. Under the protection of Harry Potter." He cowered away, expecting the blast that usually befell such unlucky messengers who bore bad tidings to the Lord. He felt nothing and dared a peek up at his master. Voldemort's face had gone white with red blotches. He looked about on the very of an apoplexy. But then he smoothed his face and smiled. 

"It is all the better for me. That way I can deal with both of my opponents at once." He rose abruptly. "Leave. You may get some refreshments. Worm tongue! Come with me!" He swept away, Wormtongue following miserably. 

"Grima. We must form some sort of plan. We can only get to it if we get rid of Potter first, once and for all. That shouldn't be hard if we catch him alone." Voldemort paced up and down, smoothing his beard thoughtfully. "We need some sort of bait... Wormtongue?" He turned an evil eye on the pathetic Wormtongue. "Wouldn't a friend of yours be perfect? You know he wants you, to redeem his godfather Sirius. Oh, you are one of many names, aren't you? Grima, Wormtongue, Peter Pettigrew, Wormtail, Scabbers... how many more do you own?" Voldemort paused and turned on the whimpering Peter, who mumbled something under his breath. "What was that?" Peter, emboldened all of a sudden, spoke up. 

"I said, you have many names too, Lord Voldemort, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, The Dark Lord, You-Know-Who, Sar-" 

"That'll do, Worm," Voldemort snapped, going a little red. "I did not expect to be spoken back to like that! How dare you parade your insolence! If I wanted to hear you speak, I would have asked!" Peter fell silent, feeling unjustly done by. Voldemort resumed his pacing, muttering different ideas for the solution to his problem. "If I could only... but if... get him... finally..." 

Suddenly he stopped. Peter looked up, still nursing resentment. Voldemort looked triumphantly at him with glowing eyes. 

"I have it! I'll get Potter, and I'll get the Ring!" 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

"Sam! Sam! Come quick!" 

"Yeah! Sam! Frodo's in trouble!" Merry and Pippin's voices rang through the halls. They had already made sure that Frodo was safely ensconced in the library before setting out. Sam looked up. 

"What? Where?" Merry and Pippin screeched to a halt. 

"Sam! Frodo's in trouble outside! Come quick!" 

"Hurry!" The three tore off through the halls to the front door. Merry and Pippin stopped at the door and pushed it open. 

"Go on Sam!" Sam ran through without thinking- and slipped on the Slippery Sludge (copyright Weasley's Wizard Wheezes) placed strategically at the top to the front stairs. Sam rolled down the steps, landing with a bump at the bottom, where he was alternately doused in honey and feathers. He stood up, looking angry. 

"That wasn't funny!" he said, putting his hands on his hips. Merry and Pippin had fallen about laughing, and two people could be heard from next to the steps out of sight, which meant George and Fred had something to do with this. 

"Oh! On the contrary!" George emerged, followed by Fred. 

"Hey! Sam's a bird!" cried Merry. 

"A fluffy bird!" joined Pippin. 

"Sam doesn't usually have birdlike qualities does he?" 

"Maybe he only does if he bounces down the stairs!" 

"Maybe if we bounce him back up, he'll turn into himself again!" 

"Yeah!" The four began to laugh harder. Sam looked disapproving. 

"Merry! You are being very irresponsible! No one would think you'd been of age for four years! What kind of example are you setting for the impressionable youth!?" he lectured. This made the four laugh even harder. 

"But Sam!" protested Merry. "You're just too funny!" 

"Third time this week!" cried Fred, who was practically in hysterics. 

"You know who else is easy to get? Ron. And Neville," George's eyes gleamed mischievously. Sam tried to look dignified as he headed back up the steps, trailing drips of honey and feathers. The four laughed even more. Harry, Hermione and Ron appeared at the door. 

"What's going on?" asked Harry, looking around at poor Sam and the four hyenas. Hermione looked sympathetically at Sam. 

"Oh, you poor thing! They're so mean to you! Here, I'll fix you up." Suddenly Ron whispered something in her ear and a smile widened on her face. She pulled out her wand. 

"Transferio terridum!" The feathers and honey disappeared from Sam. He grinned. 

"Thanks, Hermione." Suddenly Merry and Pippin started laughing even harder (if possible). Everyone else looked around. Pippin pointed a shaking finger. Sam laughed. George and Fred were covered in honey and feathers. 

"ROOOON!!!!!!" they roared. 

"uh oh." Ron backed away. Fred and George made a dash for him and promptly slipped on their own Slippery Sludge and fell flat on their faces at the bottom of the stairs. Tears rolled down the hobbits' faces, they were laughing so hard. Fred looked at George. George looked at Fred. 

"Looks like the jokes on us!" 

"You look so stupid, covered in feathers!" 

"So do you!" Soon they were laughing along with everyone else. Pippin grinned at Sam. 

"Sorry, Sam, we'll try not to prank you any more, okay?" 

"Yeah," agreed Merry, whose face was full of mirth. Sam smiled. 

"You just better not, or it'll be the worse for you!" He shook a finger and them and went off inside. Pippin and Merry grinned at each other and uncrossed their fingers behind their backs. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Voldemort stayed hidden outside of Hogsmead. He looked at Peter. 

"You do know what you have to do?" Peter nodded. "Then go." At once, Peter disappeared. Voldemort smiled and cloaked himself, vanishing into thin air. A sinister laugh floated on the wind. 

"At last I'll get you Potter...." 

Unnoticed, a rather tatty looking rat scurried towards the Forbidden Forest of Hogwarts, on a mission. And he must not fail. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

AN: Pip: OOOOOOOOHHHH!!!!!!! 

Merri: Sinister! All we need now is a good thunderstorm! 

Pip: So how was that? Much better I hope. 

Merri: It was too short. 

Pip: The next one'll make up for it, probably. No promises. 

Merri: We might get Raen to help us, she's good at writing. Better than Squid anyway. But Squid's on camp so it doesn't matter. 

Pip: Yesiree! So long, fare thee well, pip pip, cheerio, we'll write more soon! Toodle pip! 

Merri: Yay I got the last word! And the last word is gonna be: 

SPLUNGE!!!!! 


	10. Evil Plotting

Pip: Wacko! A new chapter at last!! Yippee!!! 

**Europa:** Yeah, Ginny's cool, I like her. ^_^ 

**Pyra:** Like Wow! is covered by Leslie Carter (sis of Nick of BSB fame), Sure is by Take That (extinct but still cool British original boyband where Robbie Williams started out), and Alicia Rules the World is by Alicia,( a one hit wonder in the late 1990s). Any others you're wondering about? Unseen is by Zed (THE MOST AWESOMEST KIWI BAND!!!). Anyhoo, we hope you enjoyed the chapter either way! 

**Lunoria Moonwatcher:** Yeah, Splunge is kinda a Monty Python thing, eh heh... Yep! More is coming forthwith! 

**EdhelDess: **Yeah, poor Sam, but he's so easy! heehehehehe! ^_^ At least he got his own back! Yeah, I'm meant to be doing homework too... oops! 

**Pixiedust:** Hmmm, Maybe that can be the title of this chapter! You'll find out Peter's mission very soon! Yeah, exams coming, Art due, AAAARGGG!!! I have no time! But I will in a couple of weeks... *sighs* 

**Raen:** When you say you'll read it and review, you aren't kidding! ^_^v 

Merri: Did she read it and rewrite it or read and review? Or maybe we could use it as the next chapter... *suuuure* 

Pip: Well she'll just have to get back to her fic and her novel, WON'T SHE!!!! And no, Voldemort's other name is NOT Sara. *both authors face-fault like the Tiger/Saber team did in Ziods- that was so so funny! But it has nothing to do with this review* And we will get into that If The Thought Of Failing Even Crosses Your Mind You Shall Be Pulled Into Intense Thick Plots With Ropes Of Suspense And Audience On The Edge Of Their Chairs Waiting For You To WRITE THE NEXT CHAPTER!!! mission now Okay? Okay! 

*......magically time flashes by and there are no more exams.....* 

And now.. **IT'S! **

CHAPTER TEN: EVIL PLOTTING!

Pippin was sound asleep. He was dreaming safe happy dreams of hot dinners and pints at home in his hobbit hole. Suddenly he became aware of something moving around under the blanket. Something fuzzy, with a long bald tail that just went between his toes. 

"EEEEWWW!!! GERROUT!!!" Pippin jerked awake, sending a shrieking something flying out from his bed and under Frodo's. Pippin was after it in a flash, diving headfirst under the bed and trapping the wriggling _thing_ against the wall. Merry jerked out of bed, hitting the floor unnecessarily hard. 

"Ow! Pippin! What's all the fuss???" he demanded loudly. This woke Sam, who sat up. 

"Mr Frodo?" he asked concernedly. 

"I'm okay Sam," replied Frodo, who was leaning over the edge of his bed, trying to see what the front end of Pippin was doing. The back end was writhing around and kicking furiously. 

"Pippin!" Merry cautioned as a foot flew dangerously close to his face. "What ARE you doing?" 

"Little bugger! It bit me! I've probably got rabies now!" was all the muffled front end of Pippin could say, or at least that's all his companions could make out. Sam bravely grabbed one of Pippin's feet and held on. Merry grabbed the other. 

"Have you got him, Pip?" Merry asked whilst trying to keep control of Pippin's left leg. 

"GOTTIM!" A triumphant cry came from Pippin's front half and Sam and Merry pulled him out, landing on the floor with a bump. 

"What is it?" Frodo asked, straightening up. Pippin held it up to the light. Patchy, scruffy, dirty and still struggling madly, it looked rather ugly and pathetic in the dim moonlight. 

"It's a rat." 

The four hobbits stared at it. 

"Well." 

"I always thought Pippin kept strange things in his bed, but..." 

"Oh, ew, THAT's disgusting!" 

The rat stopped struggling and blinked at them. 

"It's so ugly." Merry poked at it cautiously. It obviously didn't think much of them either and bit Merry's hand viciously. 

"EEOOWW!!!" Merry jumped back, shaking his injured hand. "Little devil! Kill it!" Frodo stepped in quickly. 

"No, we won't kill it Merry, it has as much right to live as we do. Put it outside, Pippin, set it free." 

"Well said, Mr. Frodo. Well said. Put it outside," Sam said, without making any inclination to help. Pippin got to his feet and went to the window. 

"No, pippin! Not the window! It's too high!" Frodo cried from getting back into bed. The rat agreed heartily, trying to climb over Pippin's shoulder. "The door, Pip." 

"Alright, you should have specified." Pippin pushed the rat out the door, not unkindly, and shut it firmly behind him. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

The rat hurried out, muttering things under its breath about the unfairness of life and Dumbledore being to lenient to underfed dwarves. But an evil glint shone in his eye, and he scurried back to his master. 

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

A dim fire burned at the back of a dingy cave, which had been occupied previously by a large black dog. Now, however, there was a straight figure sitting there. The firelight played on his white hair and beard, which had, of late, got more scruffy as his personal affairs had started falling. His features were stern and brooding, and the lines on his face sharp and deep. His eyes had a maniacal glint to them. 

"Lord Voldemort." A scruffy man came forward into the firelight. The man immediately turned to him. 

"Wormtail. Tell me everything." Wormtail smirked and recounted his journey. 

"The four halflings are in the same room. They're on the fifth floor in the west wing. The man is next door to them, the elf opposite the man and the dwarf opposite the halflings. Potter is in the same bed in the same room in Gryffindor Tower." 

"Which halfling carried the Ring?" 

"The one called Frodo Baggins, my lord. He carries it on a chain about his neck. I only had a tiny glimpse of it. I err- climbed into the wrong bed and- well, managed to escape. They're all there, milord." The old man's face contorted into an evil smile. 

"Good. My plans are almost in order. And then Potter is dead and the Ring is Mine!" Once more that evil laugh filled the fanfic in the wonderful tradition of a true evil dude. But Wormtail gulped and moved out of the light. One thing had happened to make him suddenly feel terrified- he owed his life to two people. Both being the people Voldemort wanted to kill. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

A/N: Pip: Wooooaah!! Cliffy! A new twist to the story! Sorry this one was so short, the next'll be longer, promise. You're all gonna LOVE the next chap! It's called 

CHAPTER ELEVEN: Dude, Where's my cameo? 


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